Good-bye My Love. [Picture a Day: June 24, 2010]

Something tragic happened. It hurts just thinking about it. Putting it into writing makes it that much more real and painful. I always knew this day would come one day, but I thought it would happen years down the road. After we'd spent much more time together. Created many more memories. Not now. Not like this.

See, I'm in love. From the first time I ever laid eyes on her I knew I wanted her - no, needed her - to be mine. I knew we were meant for each other. But I never thought it would actually happen, us being together. I thought she was too good for me. That I didn't deserve her.

But then one amazing day she came to me, glowing red and brilliant. A gift just handed down from the heavens. For there surely must be some god for me to get such a thing of beauty. I was so happy I almost cried. And I swore to myself that I would never take her for granted. I would never mistreat her; would never neglect her. I would lavish upon her all the love in my heart, keeping her fresh and forever young. I knew, of course, that it would eventually come to this. But like I said, I just never expected it to happen so suddenly. So soon.

Her name is Trixie. Isn't she beautiful?

It happened like this.

A few months ago I got a new baking book, The Bread Bible by Beth Hensperger. I've tried a few recipes but haven't really dug into it yet, not being overwhelmed with the whole wheat loaf recipes. But, see, we've had these oranges flooding from our refrigerator for quite some time. We get them from our CSA, the Garden of Eden, and they just keep piling up. I was trying to figure out how to use some of the oranges when I remembered that Hensperger has a recipe for "farm style white bread with cardamom", which I had not yet tried. How good would that bread be with orange zest and a little almond extract added? Um, delicious! So I got started at once.

When I get everything mise en place, the first thing I do is to get out Trixie. She was looking healthy and radiant as ever, and I thought once again about how lucky I was to have her. I got through the first half of the recipe without incident - the yeast bubbled up nicely, the orange zest smelled and looked beautiful in the dough, and I had just enough bread flour to make two loaves. After mixing everything together, I put on Trixie's favorite accessory: the dough hook. She danced along, kneading the supple dough for about 4 minutes.

And then it happened. Without warning, the hook stopped spinning and she let out a wail. I knew it had happened, but I didn't want to believe it. So I quickly turned her off, took out the dough hook, and let her cool down. Maybe she just needed a rest. Fifteen minutes later I started her up again, but she simply roared in pain but wouldn't move an inch. The hook dangled from her in stillness. She was broken, and there was nothing I could do to help her.

Since then I have been searching for doctors...um, appliance repair people...to fix her. But what if they don't treat her with care? What if they do more damage to her? I can't stand the thought of another person putting their greasy hands all over her, pawing her as if she was nothing but a tool for their own selfish means. I know I will have to give in and take her soon, as I am suffering so without her.

I finished kneading the dough by hand with tears stinging my eyes.

The bread turned out delicious, but I can't help but taste bitterness in its bite. For this is the bread that killed my true love Trixie.

Farm-Style White Bread with Cardamom
Adapted from Beth Hensperger's recipe in The Bread Bible

Makes 2 9x5" loaves or 1 loaf with braid

Ingredients

• 2 C. boiling water
• 5/6 (1/2 + 1/3) C. dried milk
• 2 TBL unsalted butter
• zest of 2-3 oranges
• 1 t. almond extract
• 1/2 TBL salt
• 1/2 C. sugar
• 1/4 C. warm water (105-115 degrees)
• 1 TBL active dry yeast
• pinch of sugar
• 1 t. cardamom
• About 6 C. all-purpose or bread flour

Egg glaze

• 1 egg at room temp
• 1 TBL milk or cream
• 1 t. vanilla or almond extract

Directions

1. In a large bowl using a whisk or in bowl of heavy-duty mixer fitted with paddle attachment, combine the boiling water, dried milk, butter, orange zest, almond extract, salt, and sugar. Stir until the butter melts and let stand at room temp until lukewarm, ~ 20 min.
    
   
2.  Pour the warm water into a small bowl. Sprinkle with yeast and pinch of sugar over the water. Stir to dissolve and let stand at room temp. until foamy, ~ 10 min.
   
   
3. Add 2 C. of flour, the cardamom, and yeast mixture to the milk & butter mixture. Beat hard until smooth and creamy, ~2 min. Switch to a wooden spoon if manually mixing, and add the remaining *flour, 1/2 C. at a time, until a soft, shaggy dough that clears the side of the bowl is formed.
    
   
4. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and knead until the dough is smooth and resilient to the touch. It should be slightly tacky to the touch. This will take ~6-10 min. Dust with flour as needed to prevent sticking. If kneading by machine, switch paddle to dough hook and knead ~ 5-8 min., or until the dough is smooth and springy. It should spring back when pressed.  In either case, dough should pass windowpane test.
   
   
5. Place dough in lightly oiled bowl. Turn once to coat the top and cover with plastic wrap. Let rise at room temp. until doubled, ~ 1-2 hours.
    
   
6. Gently deflate the dough and turn out onto work surface. Oil 2 9x5" loaf pans for two loafs, or 1 pan for a loaf with a braided top**. Divide the dough into 2 equal portions. Shape the portions and place in pan(s). Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise until almost doubled, ~1 hour.
    
   
7. Twenty minutes before baking, preheat the oven to 350.  In a small bowl, beat the egg, milk, and extract together to make the glaze. If making two regular loaves, you can slash the tops with a serrated knife no more than 1/4" deep to make it decorative and pretty. Brush the tops with the glaze. Place the loaf pan(s) on the center rack of the oven and bake ~ 40-45 minutes, or until the loaves are brown and sound hollow when tapped with your finger. Transfer the loaves immediately to cooling rack. Let cool completely before eating.

If this bread isn't eaten within a day or two of making, use the left-overs to make a delicious french toast. Top with orange marmalade instead of syrup (or use both!).


*The amount of flour used will depend on how dry your flour is and how much orange zest you added. I only needed 5 C. of flour.

**I did one loaf with a braided top. Unfortunately, the braid slid while rising, so it kind of looked like an 80's style hair-do. To make a braid, divide one half of the dough into 3 equal pieces. Roll into strands about 10" long. Braid strands together like you would hair, or get creative. Carefully pick up braided strands and rest of top of regular shaped bread loaf in pan.